Moments of Clarity...Dead Leaves
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“What a difference a day makes”. This is the popular phrase that has become engrained in our society’s big book of quotes and everyday expressions. It symbolizes the leap of extreme change or insight brought by a few unordinary circumstances, evoking a chain reaction of events that rock the very fibers of normalcy and routine. On this one particular spring day, that phrase jumped out that big book and found me in the same way, on a normal day, in a normal atmosphere, masked in a routine phone call. Unaware of the spiritual impact that this call would have on my life, I gullibly listened along as my Auntie Carolyn picked up the phone and greeted my Auntie Florence. Auntie Florence is the type of person that people feel privileged to call family. She was the wife of my grandmother’s brother who had recently passed away. My keen observation, and love for putting together pieces to puzzles finally realized that the reason my Aunt was calling was because she had a need that her physical condition would not allow her to accomplish on her own. The request was simple, she needed her yard cleaned and rid of the old wet leaves that the winter season lay caked across her lawn. She was looking for my older brother to help her. Being that he, at the time wasn't available, I realized that I was at a crossroad; a place where I could either be selfless or self “ish”. Two facts floated in my head. The first fact was that she asked for my brother, so if I didn't say a word and minded my business the task would not land on me. Secondly, I also realized that I had a bike, health and massive free time that at that moment allowed me to be the most likely candidate for the cleanup. The outcome of my choice was inevitable; I would open my mouth, and offer myself up to the task. As I gripped the handlebars, I positioned my feet in the grooves of the pedal and mounted the 10 speed bike. An overwhelming sense of gratification filled my body as I realized that this was the right thing to do. I felt as if for some odd reason, this job was meant for me to take on. Five minutes of pedaling led me to the doorsteps of Auntie Florence's house. I greeted her in my normal comical way "wits and a smile" because I loved to see her laugh at me. She began to tell of the dire need that her yard was in, and the need for it to be groomed for spring. She explained, "Jesse usually does all of the yard cleaning, but since he's past, this is the first time that I had no one to take care of it". Upon this statement, a great passion for loving her and being her help in this stage of grief became my one goal in life. Everything that I needed to complete this job rested in the confinements of the garage. With a little searching I found what I needed; the bags to hold the leaves, yard gloves to protect my skin from nicks and scratches, and most importantly, the rake. I began this heroic mission in the front yard, which in all actuality wasn't that bad of a chore! The rake-up job was fairly simple and within 10 to 20 minutes I was done. One thing I noticed while raking was how horrible the flower garden looked. My Aunt assured me that even though I was trampling over the dirt while using the rake to plow my way across the soil that I need not worry because the flowers would still grow. I asked her "are you sure auntie?", because I don't see anything down here that looks like it’s even alive! Trusting in her wisdom, I took the two bags of leaves that the front yard had invested, and prepared myself for the next phase. My Aunt went back inside, and left me to continue. Now the side of the house had a long narrow stretch of grass, quite similar to a brownish green throw rug. This grass stretched from the front of the house all of the way to the alley. This strip of grass also served as the borderline of her home and the next door neighbors. It was a substitute for a fence that commonly signals as the end of one property, and the beginning of another. For a brief moment I figured that I would cut myself a break and let the neighbors handle this part of the cleaning. "It’s just as much their responsibility as ours" I thought to myself, trying to give peace to my laziness. But as always, the moral side won over. "I'm here, I exhaled, and I have the tools to do it, so... I might as well." I once again picked up the rake. At first glance, the project seemed to be easier that the first. The grass seemed to be very flat, and the thin layer of leaves would not leave me too much of a strain in the cleanup process. But something strange occurred. I noticed that the seemingly flat area of the grass, and the thin layer of leaves were visually deceptive! In actuality, the grass sloped downwards towards the middle like a valley, and the leaves were so densely packed on top that it appeared to be a flat surface. What began as a mentally easy task now grew in complexity. I began digging into the pile of leaves. In doing so, I noticed something that blew my mind. At the very bottom was a sea of freshly new and unordinary plush lime green grass that inconspicuously lived under this bed of gunk. I remember staring at how strange the glow of the green played off the sun. It was the type of feeling one would get the first time boarding a plane and staring out of the window during takeoff, or similar to one being so lucky as to look up at the midnight sky just in time to catch a shooting star blazing its trail in the darkness. It was one of those moments that waked my curiosity of nature and how it worked. I then made my way to the back yard. Not really bad, just a lot of area to cover. I psyched myself up to this next task and was on my way to get started when for some strange reason I felt my body becoming nervous and slightly frightened. This was in direct affect to a huge dog that began barking at me from the house next door. For a moment, I nurtured the fear of this huge and “hungry” looking beast. I subconsciously began to pull out my white towel of surrender to calling this job a wrap. Then I thought, "Joe this dog can't hurt you, for crying out loud it’s locked on the back porch and shut behind that glass door, get over that bark and finish the assignment.” I heeded to my directives and headed towards the area of the lawn closest to where the dog was contained, and did what I needed to do. Upon finishing this task, a wave of relief and completion hit me , that is, until I turned around to the back yard gate where lied an intimidating pile of old leaves that formed a miniature mountain like shape nearly reaching the top of the fence. I was not doing this one! Matter of fact, I realized that it gave me the creeps just to look at. I began to deeply plead to myself...please please don't talk me into doing this one! It could be all types of “things” under that huge pile of stuff. I could just imagine something small and hairy running up my body and biting me. I don't know how it happened, but I began to poke at the pile…nothing stirred! I poked again, (already planning in my head a way of escape. Nothing! So with that microscopic piece of confidence, I began to "chip" away at the project. It was amazing how my apprehension melted with each scoop of the hand. I saw the daunting process of a slimy leaf mountain turn into a molehill of excitement and confidence. I was no longer intimidated by this final feat. In time, (because by no means was this a short process) the bags were filled to the brim with the remains that the trees left behind during the onset of the winter season. The hardest part was done and the celebration began as I slung those filthy bags into the alley for the trash men to take away. Proudly I went back to report the great news to my aunt that her worries were now over. With a slightly raised voice I blurted, “Auntie, I finished the yard for you." She responded by saying thank you and I then went on further to say, "that back yard wasn’t easy though." “I know, she said, I was watching you from the window when you were working.” I was shocked to hear her say this because for starters it’s kind of creepy to know that I was being watched that whole time in the backyard unaware. But on the other hand, I was relieved that I didn't quit due to the taunts of that silly dog. I would have regretted my aunt seeing me give up on her. With a sigh of relief I once again gripped the handlebars and mounted the 10 speed, proudly pedaling my way back home. Task completed! In the weeks to follow my Auntie Florence left a message for me at my Auntie Carolyn’s house. "Auntie Florence said that the flowers bloomed, she wants you to come see them". As I once again made my way back to the house that I once so intently labored, I found myself awestruck at the sight that was before my eyes. This barren dirt patch that lied in the front of the house was now filled with several types of beautiful flowers fully blossomed and ready to be shown off to the world. I remember telling my Aunt how hard it was for me to believe that something so beautiful came from under that grimy layer of dead leaves. On the way home I began to think about the beauty of that situation. I thought of the hard work that it took to get that yard to where it was at that moment where the flowers were at full bloom. In that moment God began to speak to me. He had taken me through that situation those several weeks ago to teach me a lesson. God said this to me. The three areas of this yard Joseph, represents you. The sequence of events during this process is of importance as well. The front of the house is the area of your life that is presented to people. It is what they can see about you by simply watching. These are the things that are revealed on the outside. Although it is not a difficult task to complete, it is necessary for you to prune your life to where your outside reflects beauty and cleanliness. Although the process may seem pointless, in time you will be amazed at what blossoms from the seemingly barren parts in your life that people are witness to. You will also be amazed to see the beauty and variety that will reveal itself in your life. The second area of your life is the side of the house. This represents your relationships. There are certain relationships that you are waiting for the other person to clean, when I have put you in the position to do the cleaning. Though it is a project that either party can begin, I chose you to be the one to fix it. You think that the situation isn't that bad, and that it’s not as serious as it seems, but the layers are thick with the past, and the time has come to dig deep to mend your relationships. In time you will come to see the awesome beauty that lies just beneath the surface of communication. Relationships are very crucial to who you are, and that is why it… like the grass, stretches from the front all of the way to the back of the house. This is because relationships directly affect and reflect how you are perceived on the outside, they affect your personal life, and it serves as the blueprints of your past and the life hidden from everyone else. The third area of your life is your back yard; it is the private area of your life, the place where not too many people are allowed to visit. This area holds the secret places that must be cleaned. But beware, the devil is just next door and he is fixed on getting you to stop the cleaning process. But he is powerless, he is only a mere intimidation role poised to distract you and run you away. Clear your mind and realize that he has no real power, and that he cannot touch you. Last but not least is the life that not even your friends and family knows about. This is the part of your life where you don’t know, nor welcome learning the depths of what lies underneath. This is the hardest job of them all. This is positioned at the alley of your life where years of garbage have entered. It has festered a mighty pile. You must prepare yourself for the worst. Through this process of healing, you must relinquish your fears and finish the task that you have begun. And when you have completed this task, you will come to realize that what seemed so difficult and scary never was a threat to begin with. The bags of leaves represent your “efforts” to change. Although it is now contained, it still remains around you. If these bags are not dumped, they will once more spread throughout your life. The alley represents the sea of forgetfulness, cast your weight on Me and I will forever rid you of this weight and honor you for all of your hard work to change! That day God spoke to me and it forever left a lasting impression. I began to look at all aspects of what happened that day. Since God had hidden all these lessons to be revealed to me, one particular moment began to press me. “What did it mean for my aunt to be at the window?” Then it hit me! The house represents me! And God dwells in me! and even though I think that I'm all alone in the road to healing, and alone as Satan intimidates and sets fear in my heart to get me to give up, my HEAVENLY FATHER is standing in support on the inside of me, watching me at the very times when I feel the most alone! The point where my aunt stayed with me for a period of time as I cleaned the front yard represents the stages in life where God walks with us openly for a season, it is the beginning stages where we need tangible evidence that God is right there. This comes through signs and wonders. But as we begin to mature, God begins to step back and become less of the forefront, in order to develop our faith in Him. As for the garage? The garage represents the store house that He has invested in us. That whenever He gives us an assignment, He is faithful to supply us with the necessary tools to complete the task that is laid before us, so that we may never be unprepared. It also serves as the confirmation that God will and does supply all our needs. I realized the balance and necessity of the good and bad working together in our lives…in harmony. It is the appreciation of beauty after being released from the layers of dead leaves that causes us to never forget that in order to appreciate life, one must go through the process of dying, and in this stage it is the weight of the death that actually feeds, and gives life to a brilliance that lies just underneath. God will offer His phone call to usher in those critical “Moments of Clarity” that are planted in the soils of our existence, in order for US to grow! Joseph L. Marshall
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Joseph Marshall 06/25/2011 17:50 |
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Davidwayne Lackey
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06/25/2011 20:27 |
Loved this Joseph. A beautifully written metaphor from a day in your life. You have talent as a writer and I love your sensitivity and open honesty.
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Helga
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07/03/2011 00:53 |
Joseph I really enjoyed it. Thank you for using your talent to teach us and encourage us.
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Rhonda Knighton
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07/03/2011 10:55 |
I am very lonley today, home with very hard cough, prayed asking for Jesus to heal me once again for unknown reasons He chose not to. I love Him so very much yet are very disappointed that He did not heal me.please pray my heart stays humble before our Lord
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